I apologize beforehand for any omissions in this account, because my memory of the events beginning last Friday is spotty at best. You see, I woke up here in alt.gothic land, wearing only a black lace corset and lying on what seems to be a very large featherbed, and I don't remember how I got here. The boys have left already; they left a note and a extra-large Kahlua French roast next to me. But I digress.
Aaaanyway, I woke up on Friday morning with a funny, excited feeling in my tummy. So I puked up the flukeworm, and I felt a lot better. But still, I was excited.
I didn't bother to open the newsstand, but got Mike-II and Steven-II to decorate the storefront with garlands of flowers, dyed black and green of course. I had the other boys paint my nails (asphyxia blue, my favorite new color!) and give me a scalp massage. Finally, after listening to my Tracy Bonham and Scream Moldy Bore CDs about five times each, I sent all the boys off for final fittings on their wedding regalia, and I was off to Castle M.
Punk M met me at the front door. "Pepper, what took ya?" she called as she dashed past. I stood there for a minute unitl I realized I was supposed to follow her in. Sheepishly, I entered the dressing room, and gave Allisona her birthday present. "Why, whipped cream and candles! How thoughtful!" she said.
Being the darling little procrastinator that I am, I still hadn't decided what I was going to wear, except for my lucky vinyl shorts. I ended up borrowing a purple bustier from Allisona and a classically elegant ruffly clear-plastic ballgown from Chelle. (Who sez I'm not a traditional girl?) We helped each other suit up, which was a difficult task, seeing as so many of us were decked in extra-tight lace-up fetishwear. Finally, in various states of pinching, we relaxed with a platter of ScrewMulders and ScullySlammers. To keep my hands limber, I helped Lowri with hergarland of violets, until she said, "Uh, thanks for helping, but seven feet is enough." Just at that moment, a burst of feedback came roaring down the main drag... the wedding procession was starting!
I raced outside and took my place beside my soon-to-be husbands, Lowri and Gizzie right behind me, Scream Moldy Bore not far ahead. Allisona and the Paulverizer looked radiant, she in her green catsuit and tattoo, he in his chainmail. My boys looked fabboo themselves - Mike in a Mountie uniform and - hey, where'd he get that lipstick? Really, he'll put anything on you give him.- Steven in an extremely formal Edwardian-style tuxedo and tails with cane, Joel in his traditional red Gizmonics jumpsuit. You know the one, that goes to his knees? That one! And of course his lovely Birkenstocks. They all looked so sweet! And Alex... just perfect, in his dress white uniform and perfect hair. I was proud of all of them, even the ones I ordered.
The ceremony was just beautiful, as performed by Prebend Thurman and Crunchy Frog. But the real beauty started afterwards, when half the wedding party contracted ergotism from the wedding/birthday cake. The colors...wow... [Author shakes herself. Not now!] And of course, we had the requisite gallons of wine and other fine distilled products, courtesy of Tamyanka and In Vino Veritas.
And after that is when it really starts to get confusing. I remember twisting my poor delicate little hand on all my wedding rings, and being carried off to the castle. I remember... well, actually, I remember a lot, but that's between me and twenty or so XV males... heehee! Suffice it to say that Alby nearly spilled his bong water. Was it Alby? I'm not sure.
And then I woke up. I'll have to hitch a ride...Lowri, where are you? Where'd ya go?...
Pepper Verizer-Reid-Cotton-Hunt-Nelson-Waddington-Krycek-Hodgson-I forget what else.