It's the beginning of another gloomy, foggy day - perfect weather for the X-Villains. All is quiet (for once) in Pepper's apartment. An unspecified amount of permanent and temporary inhabitants (every female in town has stayed here at one time or another) are scattered about the place; Leigh Anne, Treska, and a Joel Hodgson cuddled up on the couch, the Steven Waddington and Robert McNeill clones asleep at their usual posts by the door, a Mike Nelson curled up on a love seat, various assorted X-Ville females snoring in the corners and piles of throw pillows, and, of course, the real Alex Krycek, Meg, several of the Lauras, and myself, draped across one of the king-sized beds. It's so peaceful. So serene.
Then the alarm goes off, blasting "Red Right Hand" through the apartment. Everybody jumps up and starts running around, looking for either his or her shoes or underwear, depending on how much exercise they'd gotten the night before. The boys start breakfast like the good little clones they are, but everyone runs out before they have time to grab more than a Pop-Tart.
I take the stairs to the newsstand/videorama below, hastily unlocking the door and switching the sign from "SURE, COME RIGHT ON IN" to "GO AWAY!" Ah, reverse psychology, works every time. The Joel clone (such a sweetie, follows me everywhere) and I put the latest newspapers featuring the X-gang in the displays, and pretty soon, a steady stream of customers comes in the door. Gizzie picks up her daily copies of the "Hot/Cool" TV Guide. Paulverizer dashes in, glances around, picks up the latest tapes from the Spa, and hurries out. I smile and put it on his tab. The girls-next-door check the GQ shelf to make sure that David Duchovny has not gotten up and left. Satisfied that he hasn't, they go off on their merry conjoined way. And the various other regulars pick up their regular newspapers and advance copies of the episodes and Slash Night photos (exclusively here!), as usual. But the usual is never usual in X-Ville.
But before I can blink, Douglas, the town drunk, stumbles past, a sure sign that it must be lunchtime. So I head to Puffy's, leaving the store in Joel and Mike's extremely capable hands. Once there, I slide into a booth and order lunch: two ScrewMulders, two Scully Specials, a Memento Mori, and a side of curly fries. When I come back to consciousness, I head back to the store to find that it's almost closing time. Ah, well.
Promptly at closing, Red Crow and the Pendrell clones come by in Krychek to pick me up for cheer leading practice. We set up in the park and try out a new routine. I don't know why we call it a new routine, they all consist of lots of jumping around and yelling, and of course the oft-requested backbends and splits.
But when it gets dark, we head off to the nightly musical rehearsal, not even bothering to change out of our uniforms (vinyl short-shorts and tight turtlenecks for Red Crow and me, sweaters and skirts for the Pendrells). We race in just as practice starts, and Meg glares at me as I walk in and take my place in the pit between Alan and the first ocarina player. Red goes over and over the grand finale with Paulina and Fox until Meg screams (even louder than usual) "Oh, bleep it, I'm not taking any of this bleepin bleep anymore!" That signals the end of rehearsal.
The cast and orchestra heads to Unruhe's for a special event - Ultra Slash Night. Every man and clone in town, regardless of age or ability, lap-dances while the women scream, get wasted, and stuff X-Bucks in their g-strings. It's a blast, both to our hormones and our brain cells. Once everyone's gotten their chance, the cafe closes and a majority of X-Villians pile in Krychek (man, that van can hold a lot of people in a pinch!) to head back to my place, which can also hold a lot of people. On the way, we stop and get bottles of chocolate syrup and whipped cream...